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Dear Dr George

I hope you can help me. My husbank and I have been marrien now for 12years. Last week he informed me that he has been going to "horehouse" on a regular basis, I am broken and dont know what to do, he has moved out of the house. He cant confirm that he loves me, cant promis that he wount do it again and does not understand why he is doing it. I am willing to fogive him if can promise me he will not do it again, i know I am not perfect and I will also work on my problems. Please help what should I do!

Thanks
Alta

Alta-Marie

I think your husband should see a counsellor. Counselling can also help you, but it is his problem in the first place. Afterwards you can both go for marriage counselling. The question is whether he really wants to be helped.

Your husband must be helped to find out why he does it, and also the facts for his healing: sincere confession before the Lord and a deep desire to stop doing it. Of course he must make a decision and keep to it. Decisions must become actions, or they don't mean a thing.

Another way in which he can deal with it, is talking to a Christian friend, to whom he must be accountable for what he does. It should be a compassionate person whom he can trust, who will be able to encourage him, pray with him and perhaps also help him to become involved in some positive hobby or ministry of helping. He must deliberately fill his mind with good, positive thoughts (Philippians 4:8). Our actions begin with our thoughts.

You should be a loving wife, but I agree that you must make it clear that you cannot live with this kind of lifestyle.

We pray for both of you. Also bring this whole situation to God and ask him to show you what you can do. Read Philippians 4:4-9 and take courage that the Lord wants to hear how you feel and what things worry you.

Ria